Grappling with problems? Life seeming like one long struggle? Like, why do these things keep happening to me? I know what you’re dealing with and you aren’t alone. How do I know? It comes with meeting people in the same condition almost every day. Fortunately, you can start finding help.
I’ve spent a few decades working with people whether in pastoral ministry with parishioners, as a lecturer in the classroom with students of varying intelligences and abilities, and in counselling practice. As a reult, there’s one overriding observation I’ve made. It is that people’s experiences are similar. No matter their social background, ethnicity, profession, income level, or gender. These and all the other distinctions are irrelevant .
… people hurt and long for healing
One similarity is that people long to achieve a measure of success. Most look forward to growth and fruitfulness. People want to experience good physical health, strong relationships, and a sense of emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
Each person has a past life. That experience may lend to successes in their adult life. Others struggle to be extricated from their negative past life. Their experience retards their journey towards maturity and wholeness.
Running from pain
Working with people over the years has shown me how people hurt and long for healing from the pain, which often, and sometimes, disproportionately, enters their lives. Others hurt and run from pain. Even when it is available, instead of finding help, they run from those who might give them the help they need.
The good news is that these situations are not terminal. Over the years, I have observed students with clearly articulated goals. They sit alongside others who had no idea where they were going in life. It is always a joy seeing the latter transform, with counselling support, into goal-focussed students achieving great success.
At these times , I’ve tried to offer empathetic psychological care and guidance. I hope that in some way I was able to help some, if not all, of them. Several factors prevent others from reaching out to locate the assistance they need. These include limited time or resources.
Support beyond spiritual issues
Daily, I’ve seen people with strong faith in God and outstanding integrity struggle. They grapple with problems like the ones listed here.
- destructive, addictive behaviours
- poor self-esteem and
- chronic trouble in relationships
Their deep problems don’t stem from a spiritual source. They result from malpractices of significant others during childhood. Of course, some do experience spiritual problems.
Finding help through resources
All of which brings me to why I am starting this blog: To make resources available that might provide initial answers to some of the questions and problems people face as they journey through life. My hope is that readers muster the courage to start seeking deeper and extensive psychological and spiritual relief, which articles alone can never provide.
Anyone who has studied history or cultural anthropology can tell you how fascinating it is to trace social evolution of civilisations across centuries. One sees how each generation has successfully invented new ways of doing things to make life better and easier for them and succeeding generations. Unfortunately, in 2019, the intended result may not have been achieved.
People’s lives are more stressed than ever
School problems? Seek help
Hence, people’s lives are more stressed and complicated than ever. Students today are more stressed at the primary, secondary and tertiary levels. Several face many emotional, academic, social and behavioural challenges in the school environment. Yes, we know that many are succeeding academically. And the others? They struggle through the system from as early as the primary level. Often, their problems are not recognised. Furthermore, there may be no intervention during early development!
And let me hasten to add: Academic successes do not always indicate that a student is emotionally healthy. Worse, this misalignment extends into adulthood! In some cases, other students suffer from bullying and abuse from fellow students and unfortunately from some teachers. They all need our support, including making it easier finding help.
Finding help from work stress
The workplace has added even higher levels of stress to people’s lives. This may be the result of increasing work demands with less pay (or higher), unreasonable and unskilled bosses, difficult work colleagues, work-life difficulties, and the like. According to the American Institute of Stress, “Numerous studies show that job stress is far and away the major source of stress for American adults and that it has escalated progressively over the past few decades.”
Elsewhere, many others can’t find emotional and mental wholeness. They struggle to locate meaning in their lives. They are highly intelligent and have ample professional accomplishments. Such folks cannot reconcile these to poor relationship choices they have made or continue to make. Others perhaps feel stuck in the mud at a particular stage in their lives. They are ever trying to overcome some dysfunction. Yet, they never seem to reach a state Maslow calls “self-actualisation”.
I hope this blog will help anyone in similar situations. I hope that what they learn here will ultimately lead them to seek professional psychotherapeutic support. Self-help is laudable at times. At other times, the problems people face are too big and too complicated to manage alone. These require the support of a trained professional who may help one overcome life’s predicaments. You don’t have to do this by yourself. We are here to support you.
